rogue rhetoric

A University of New Hampshire chemist says he’s developed a coffee that provides the same benefits to the heart as red wine.

Source: New coffee offers same heart benefit as red wine, chemist says

I’m really torn about this. My initial reaction was “Hell no, leave coffee alone.” But after further consideration, I began to think this could be genius. Perhaps they could start to infuse vitamins and minerals too. Then I could drink coffee as my sole sustenance.