rogue rhetoric

I spent an inordinate amount of time researching bobcats today. There are 12 species of bobcats in North America. They can weigh up to 49 pounds. The males can range over 40 square miles of territory.

Why did I desperately need this valuable information?

One was spotted less than five miles from my house. Since I live in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, I found this to be both shocking and exciting. In Western Pennsylvania, we have deer, groundhogs, squirrels, rabbits, and an occasional fox. Apparently there is also a growing population of coyotes, but I haven’t seen one yet. I don’t really care about coyotes though; they are just wild, mangy dogs. I want to see a bobcat. I really really want to see a bobcat in my yard. I want to feed it and photograph it and name it Poe.

I lived in New England for several years and never saw a moose. My neighbor saw one in my yard (while I was at sea). A friend of mine hit one with his car. But they always seemed to avoid me. I even drove several hours into northern New Hampshire for the sole purpose of spotting a moose. Not a one. Anywhere. A guide at one of the parks actually said I had just missed a few of them by only a couple minutes. This is my chance to right a wrong. I may never see a moose, but I will damn well see a bobcat even if I have to camp out overnight. Of course, with my luck I will stumble upon a pack of angry coyotes. And since I will be unarmed for fear that weaponry would upset the bobcats, I will probably have to fight them off by hand. I’m sure that will make the news.

Speaking of the news, here are some random musings about today’s headlines:

1. Lemmy from the band Motorhead died. I seriously thought he had died of an overdose years ago.
2. The ‘affluenza’ teen was captured in Mexico. I want to see him serve some serious jail-time almost as much as I want to see a bobcat.
3. Navy beat Pitt in the Military Bowl. I am deeply conflicted. I served in the Navy and received my degree from Pitt. I’m happy. I’m sad. I had to work, so I missed the game anyway.
4. Putin has a calendar. Why in hell does a sovereign world leader need a calendar?